Archive for May, 2018

Some poems…

Posted: May 22, 2018 in Life

The beauty marks around her lips

Remind me of a constellation

When she smiles like moonlight

Romantic, thoughtful words

Mean nothing to her

She’s made of stone

A perfectly chisled masterpiece

An Aztec goddess

Poised above the altar

Ready to cut out your heart

Offering you to the sun

A human sacrifice

For your belief

In unicorns and rainbows

She holds your

Excised heart

In her upheld hand

As it flutters

To silent stillness

And the last of life’s

Blood flows in crimson

Trails down her arm

Through her well-manicured fingers

She smiles like moonlight

The beauty marks around her lips

Remind me of a constellation.

2018

I’m tired

I’m bored

I’m lonely

I’m alone

She says too much

Has happened

To go back.

What happened

Exactly?

Her damaged brain

Created the negative

Happening

I tried to make

Her happy

I tried to love

Her

While she

Devalued

Her idea of me.

My reality

Isn’t what

She expected?

I’m not wealthy?

I’m not stable?

As she stands

In her glass house

With her stable

Instability

Faking her strength

Burying any hint

Of vulnerability.

2018

The Invisible, Shrinking Woman

Wheels turn

Reels spring to life

With the extinct

Sound of film clicking

Through the projector

Images flicker

In the darkness

Onto the stark

White, silver screen

The dialogue,

Long pauses of awkward

Silence

When the characters

Meet again and again

By telephone

The scenes are devoid

Of color

Words flat, monotone

So blank

Like a catatonic stare

Yet suspended

Like oily pools

Of brackish water

She looks through her

Like a pane of

Cleanly cracked glass

Only seeing the flaws

Not the invisible woman

Enveloped and chipped,

Shrinking in pulverized

Shards,

Swept away

By the winds

Of boredom

Alone

As she returns

From glass sheen

To microscopic

Grains of sand

Once created

By he powerful

Voltage of

Lightning

To be ground

Back to the place

Of her creation…

Crescendo

Crashing, symphonic

Drums

She rises like a castle,

Fortified and strong.

The End

Roll credits…

The projector sputters

To a slow stop.

The theater goes black…

2018

Fake

The wig, the eyelashes,

The tan

The sentiment,

The responsibility,

The weekend trips…

Trying to make me believe

I’m paranoid.

“I love you” through clenched teeth

Kisses with stiff, rigid lips.

Jowly frowns

As I search

Her eyes for something real

Something that disappeared

When the weekend trips started

Along with intimacy

And time together

Lies to make me seem

Crazy.

I’m not jealous,

I saw her picture.

So she has money

So she works two jobs

So she squeezes you in sometimes

So she bought you a car

So she’s your ‘friend’

I know by your lack

Of concern for my spare time

That my gut is probably

Right

Take the straight jacket

You’ve fitted around my

Suspicious mind

To tie up your own

Insanity

You said you used

To be a horrible person

I hope you’ve convinced

Yourself

Because people have noticed the

Condescending tone

When you talk to me.

Better run back to your

400 pounder, the workaholic,

The adolescent experiment, and

The drunken home run hitter.

Never talk down to someone

Who is above, but unaware of

Their position.

Look in the mirror

Pull off the fake hair.

Wash off the make-up

And spray tan

Who the fuck are you?

I’ve never stopped

Being me.

2018

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