I Have To Start Somewhere

Posted: September 25, 2012 in Life

My sister-in-law said I shouldn’t hide my writing in a box in the garage. That’s exactly what I’ve done with my journals, poetry, short stories, and unfinished novels. In a plastic tub, sitting in the garage, collecting dust. The pages of some of my notebooks are yellow, the ink, smeared and fading. I think it’s time to put my “stuff” out there for people to actually see, read and hopefully enjoy. I’m not saying I haven’t shown my writing to some people, but only close friends and family, not everyone. That’s why I decided, upon the advice of my sister-in-law, Maria, and my therapist…to start this blog. Why I waited until now is beyond me. I guess I’m a “late bloomer” or I was probably too preoccupied with my dysfunctional life…I’ll get to that later.

My name is Elizabeth, my friends and family call me Betty, Bett, or Betty Ann. I’m 46 years old. I’m a nurse, an LPN, I’ve been for 23 years. I specialize in long-term care and sub-acute rehab. I like the career path I’ve chosen. I never furthered my education to become an RN for financial reasons as well as being too preoccupied with my dysfunctional life once again. Besides, I’m a dreamer. I always thought I would write that best seller one day. Can’t do that when the only ambition you have is enough to get out of bed in the morning and go to work, nothing else. I try to have a positive outlook on life. I try to be uplifted. For me, every day is a struggle. I have Bi-Polar disorder. I’ve been in denial for years. I inherited it. I never wanted to use it as a crutch. I went through my entire adolescence and adulthood undiagnosed and improperly medicated.. It cost me jobs, relationships, money, and my health at times. Two years ago, I was finally diagnosed properly. I’m still trying to find the right medication combination to make me feel somewhat human. Living with the stigma of mental illness isn’t easy. How many times I’ve heard from lovers, friends, and coworkers, “you’re crazy”.  Rough, really rough to have that over your head. No one takes you seriously, no matter how much you have to offer. Oh, I could give up my career as a nurse, move in with one of my parents and collect disability, but I refuse to believe that i am handicapped and incapable of fighting this illness. I want to see my therapist and my doctor as much as I need to so I can somewhat tolerate myself and cope with, well, life. So this is the beginning of my blog, I hope it’s insightful and entertaining…

 

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Comments
  1. Betty Arnold says:

    You are a writer!! I am glad you have taken this step. As you know, it is never to late to wake up and smell the coffee and see the beauty in each rose.

  2. Ashley says:

    Looking forward to reading this… Smile 🙂

  3. Robin Renee says:

    Betty, I am so excited to see what you share here. You are tremendously creative and it will be a joy to watch your expression of this unfold.

    Last night, I was reading the wiki on one of our heroes who also struggles with Bipolar Disorder. He’s had some really difficult times, but I thought you might also take heart in all he’s achieved:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_Ant

    Welcome to the Blogosphere,
    rr

  4. mandylou06 says:

    To me, you have always been THE complete artist. I’ve always loved your drawings, your poetry, your stories. So, I’m glad you decided to open your garage and share your goodies with us all.
    And about your bi-polar disorder, I think most artists have it… musicians, painters, writers, poets… So, keep being who you are, because you are special, in a good way. 😉

  5. Deej says:

    I luv the intro!!!!

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